9/07/2010

For Willie

This is the sunset that painted the island gold the day you died.
Saturday.
Because we had to make an informed, tough, heart breaking decision.
Whatever animal attacked you on Friday night did so
with intention to fatally maim.
And succeeded.
The Vet said she had never seen anything like it.
Neither had I when I opened the door at 1:00 am and saw your bloody tears streaming from your right eye.
That was the only injury. But it was enough.
Through the eyelid  (I never knew that cats have 3 of them for extra protection) through the cornea, through the entire eyeball. And beyond...almost into the brain cavity. Most likely there...so that there could be no guarantees. Antibiotics might stave off infection. Then again, they might not.
And most definitely, your eye would have to be removed. And your eyelid stitched shut for at least a week. And you would be in terrible pain.
And no guarantees that you would survive this.
My heart aches.
We chose to follow the Vet's recommendation...and so you are not here.
You are in the wind...and I heard you cry today when it thundered.
And so I cried too.
You were just learning how to be a cat with human friends
that you chose to live with. And we were learning together.
I feel like we betrayed you, and I'm so sorry.
But not sorry for having met you.
It wasn't long...and it wasn't enough. 

Willie.

10 comments:

Mary said...

Oh. My. God. Susan. I am very sorry. I'm in tears! This cut me like a knife but not as sharply as the one you feel. Please know that Willie is OK and doesn't want you to grieve but remember him with a smile.

Love,
Mary

Susan said...

thanks Mary...you know, the years haven't made me tougher at all...in fact, just the opposite as I come to realize what's important in life.

JayLeigh said...

Oh, how heartbreaking. What a sweet kitty. I'm so sorry for your loss. :*-(

A human kind of human said...

i am so sorry and so sad. I actually have tears in my eyes. This so poignantly written.
(For a couple of days I could not open any of your blogs, but I am glad to say that that seems to be something of the past.)

jabblog said...

Willie was such a beautiful young cat - I understand your pain, as we had to say goodbye to our 3-year-old boy earlier this year. What a shock to see your lovely boy so mauled and in such pain. It is the last act of kindness that we do for our friends when we allow them to die peacefully - and it never, never gets any easier.

The Early Birder said...

Susan, I'm sorry to learn of your sad loss. RIP Willie. Hang onto the happy memories however short they may have been. Hugs FAB.

Lori Skoog said...

So sorry to read about Willie. It is a tough call. Your words are very touching and you have my deepest sympathies.

Felicia said...

I'm so very sorry--poor little Willie, and especially poor you and your aching heart. You had to make a tough call, and you made a compassionate one. Hugs and blessings.

Kay L. Davies said...

I was just about to leave my comment on your post from the Fair, when I scrolled down too far and saw Willie and his beautiful obituary. I can't help crying because, of all things, I had just sorted out some pictures of my husband's old cat Igor to post for the letter "I" on ABC Wednesday next week. Igor lived to be 20, so it was impossible not to compare his long life with Willie's short one. But Willie had you, and you knew what to do for him, difficult as it was. He came home to you, instead of going off to die, because he knew you would be able to help.
Kay,
Alberta

Beverley Baird said...

So very sorry to read about your loss of Willie. What a heart-breaking decision to have had to make.
Take care.